If you thought you were going to just keep doing what you are doing related to PDA (public displays of affection) in the #metoo era, you're not only naive, you must be saved from yourself. All your hugging, your slight touches to the shoulder, the full mouth kissing (OK, hopefully you weren't doing that) is persona non grata, or at least it should be. That's why NBC, after s#x machine Matt Lauer got outed, is creating specific rules about what's acceptable and what's not.
"NBC has issued strict new anti-sexual harassment rules to employees — including that staffers must snitch on any misbehaving colleagues — in the wake of the firing of disgraced “Today” show host Matt Lauer.
A source tells Page Six that NBC employees have been ordered to report any inappropriate relationships in the workplace — and if they fail to do so, they could be fired for covering up for colleagues.
Detailed rules also have been issued about conduct in the office, including how to socialize and even how to hug colleagues.
One rule relates to hugging. If you wish to hug a colleague, you have to do a quick hug, then an immediate release, and step away to avoid body contact."
The NBC rules on hugging show just how far we still have to go when it comes to legislating hugs in the workplace. My friend, Tim Sackett, is the world's leading expert on workplace hugging. Lucky for you I'm here to give you the new rules for hugging in the workplace. Let's use the framework for what's been reported related to the hugging rules at NBC. Here's the new NBC guidance on hugging:
"If you wish to hug a colleague, you have to do a quick hug, then an immediate release, and step away to avoid body contact."
Here's the new HR Capitalist Rules on Hugging:
1. Are you a guy? And, correct me if I'm wrong, you still want to hug someone? You may have a high IQ, but street smarts aren't your thing. Why are we talking about hugging? Oh, I see, you're different, no one will get the creeps from your hugs. Riiiiight.
2. You still want to hug? OK, the NBC rules don't go far enough. If you must, go in side to side for a "side-hug", with outside of shoulders touching. For best results, lean in for the side hug at least a foot, leaving all other parts of your body far from the subject of your hug.
3. Your hand should be top of the shoulder - nowhere else. Release in under 1 second.
4. This just in, if you wait to think about avoiding body contact until you release the hug (like the NBC rules remind you), you've already lost in the new world.
The final rule of hugging in today's workplace is that it's Darwinian in nature. It's like natural selection in some ways. Those that think hugging is still cool and they'll never be misinterpreted are missing the adaptation that others will automatically get.
I get that most of you aren't perves. But when NBC is issuing rules on hugging, the clear message is that you shouldn't hug.
I know, you had so much to give to build a more compassionate workplace with your hugging. Sucks to be you. Maybe a hardy handshake is your best bet.