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Watch Your "Time of Possession" in Conversations...

In football, there's a stat called "Time of Possession", which tracks the amount of time one team has the ball. The thought process behind it is that if one team can keep the ball longer than the other team, they're apt to score more points and have a fresher defense, which contributes to winning.

You know where else you should track time of possession? In the conversations you have professionally. 

I had about 20 meetings set up this week at HR Tech.  A funny thing happens to me in those meetings - I become pretty self-aware when I've been talking too long.  How aware are you of this?  If you think you've never felt that way, you might want to reconsider - you may be the one who actually is soaking up 90% of the airtime in your professional conversations.

Other people need oxygen too, my friend.

I love coaching people in the interviewing process to let a hiring manager talk as much as they want - because the hiring manager is sure to think it went well if they get to spend all their time talking.

That holds true for interviewing - but in a networking/biz dev meeting?  I'm not sure, I think you probably need to fight for your share the conversation oxygen.

Of course, you can learn a lot about someone if they decide they need to talk 95% of the time you're together. Usually you learn you don't want to work with them.  Occasionally you become aware that they are the Mahatma Gandhi of your industry.  

Most the time you just learn they like themselves a lot.

Watch the time of possession in your professional conversations, people.

Try asking a question once in awhile.  You can always daydream.

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Comments

Eileen

A simple way to gauge yourself from being a conversation hog -- the 3 minute rule. If you've been talking for 3 minutes or more, give someone else a turn.

Caffeinepartner

Yes we agree. The act of listening - without interruption - is one of the most critical things leaders in business need to learn to win more business.

James Wardle

I have learnt the art of "looking like you're" listening with those conversation hogs you describe. Of course we all want to contribute at some stage, but I'm happy to say "I've nothing to add" as opposed to talking for the sake of it and still adding nothing! Why are people so keen to waffle as opposed to saying nothing where appropriate?

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