Everything you do at work has what I'll call "organizational gravity."

The people you joke around with.  Who you report to.  Co-workers you eat lunch with.  Careers are made by associating with the right people.

Once you get away from the importance of the people you hang out with and report to at work, there's nothing that says more about you than how you handle email.

Are you someone that's uber-responsive to email at work?  Or are you someone that has a hard time responding to anything?

What if I told you that neither of those tags is either right or wrong?

As it turns out, you can get a negative reputation for being hyper responsive to email as easily as being non-responsive.  That means a review of the rules for dealing with email are in order.

Here's the Capitalist's 5 Golden Rules of How Fast to Reply to Emails at Work:

1.  The right timeliness in responding to an email is always around the half day mark, or 4-5 hours.  Why?  Because if you consistently reply to email as soon as it comes to you, people start thinking you have a lot of time to respond to email, which is not always positive.  Also, the 4-5 hour delay is generally viewed as responsive without putting you in the Rainman category.

2. Adjust your responsiveness window for the person who sent the email.  Your boss, and his/her boss, get immediately responses.  Peers in other departments get pushed out to the 4-5 hour guideline, and people below your level get responses in the 24 hour window.  You're saying that someone else is important, and also that you're important with these windows.  

3. Never be the first one - in fact, always be one of the last ones in on a CC reply-fest.  It's easy to shoot something off quickly when there's a bunch of CCs, but you learn more by watching the mosh pit than going in early and showing your emotional instability.  Watch, learn and be late in responding - at which time you'll look smart as hell.

4. Send fewer responses overall to email.  The older I get, the fewer emails I send in response to something that pisses me off.  It can be held against you when you become a combustible force on Outlook.  Context is lost on email - got talk to someone or pick up the phone.  Your outcomes will be 100% better.

5. Wait two days, then send the best type of response someone can get - a note of recognition.  Use their email, wait - then reply to them with a note to their boss about their handling of a project, a person, a client - whatever.  It's gold. Remember - wait to make sure nothing blows up.

These are the Capitalist rules for how quick to reply to emails.  Do this and prosper.

Be the ball, Danny.

Or any color of unicorn, for that matter.

One of the biggest games in the world of HR and recruiting is managing the expectations of the hiring manager that thinks their perfect candidate exists - you know the one - the candidate with ALL of the 10 things that the hiring manager listed on their want list.

Of course, that candidate usually doesn't exist, and before you know it, you're 120 days into a search.

Perfect candidates exist in other industries as well - in Atlanta professional sports, they're called Alpharetta Unicorn, in a reference to the likelihood of white familes in the deep northern suburbs (over an hour from where ATL sports teams play.  Here's a taste from ESPN:

"When Koonin (Atlanta Hawks GM, professional basketball) -- then only months into the job -- first read owner Bruce Levenson's now infamous email urging the team to be more welcoming to stereotypical white fans, he found the owner's take personally reprehensible.

He also found it to be precisely the opposite of what his research said, and counter to the approach the Hawks are pursuing to this day.

The notion that Levenson's "40-year-old white guy" from Atlanta's suburbs would come to Hawks games if the team would play Lynyrd Skynyrd or put more white faces on the "kiss cam" rang entirely untrue.

Long before the Levenson email became public -- for which he later apologized in a statement -- Koonin, who owns a small share of the team, and the Hawks' marketing and branding staff created a name for this line of thinking, and its creature of fantasy has become shorthand in the Hawks' offices in Centennial Tower.

"We call this the Alpharetta Unicorn," said Koonin. "This is the 55-year-old guy who's going to drive an hour from Alpharetta into the city with three buddies to go to the Hawks game. He doesn't exist. And there is no music, no kiss cam, no cheerleaders, no shooting for a free car, no bobbleheads ... nothing is going to change that."

Every industry has their Unicorn.  Do yourself a favor and pledge you're not going to chase the HR equivalent of the Alpharetta Unicorn this week.

When it comes to resolutions, you always hear the same thing every year:

"This year, I'm going to say no."

"This year, I'm going to stop spending time on activities that don't matter."

The intent is great - but the execution leaves something to be desired.  Most of us want to say "no" more, but when we're back in the workplace grinding it out on a day to day, week to week basis, it's hard.  So we keep going to the same meetings, we keep getting dragged into work projects that aren't ours and really don't allow us to have impact, etc.

So how do you actually say "no" and stick to it?  

I think you need some examples for how the world is changing in other industries.  This is going to shock you, but I have one from sports.  Wait, ladies!  Don't leave.  There's an element of fashion to this as well.

One of the most recognizable figures in the world of sports is James Harden (pro basketball).  Harden's known for his style - outrageous outfits and an iconic beard - see the picture to the right.  He's also known for doing three things that deliver incredible results in today's version of basketball - he shoots three pointers, gets to the rim and gets fouled/shoots free throws with high efficiency.  More from Grantland:

"When Daryl Morey, the mad scientist of analytics, landed Harden in the trade of the decade, he not only got the superstar he coveted, he also acquired the perfect instrument for his basketball laboratory. Morey told Grantland that Harden “is a good fit here, but James would be a good fit with all 30 teams.” Be that as it may, the pair has become perhaps the most stylistically harmonious player-GM arrangement in the NBA over the last two months. By design or by happy accident, Harden plays a brand of basketball that beautifully conforms to his GM’s innovative visions.

Symbolically, Harden might be the most important player in the world. He’s a manifestation of the current trends in offensive basketball. The things that make him such an unusual superstar serve as a leaguewide harbinger of what’s to come.

By now, everyone knows that the Rockets’ offensive philosophy is built around 3s and paint shots; they avoid the midrange the same way Gwyneth Paltrow avoids Quiznos. As this chart shows, they invest heavily around the hoop and behind the 3-point line.

For Houston, even a below-average 3-pointer or paint shot is a better investment than a good shot in Kobe and Byron Scott’s hairy midrange neighborhood. As a result, the team scores a minuscule 6.2 percent of its points in the midrange, and is happy to sacrifice efficiency in its favorite spaces in favor of volume. While Bryant and Scott turn a blind eye toward the newfangled ways of the NBA, Morey and Harden bask in their glow."

So what, right?  Hold up - let me give you the picture below to show you the impact and make work-related comparisons (email subscribers enable photos or click through):

The chart to the left is the NBA league-wide.  Lots of 3's, lots of stuff at the rim, but a lot of stuff everwhere else, too.

The chart to the right is Harden's Rockets.  Lot's of threes, lots of stuff close to the rim, but almost nothing in between. The Rockets refuse to shoot mid-range jump shots because the further you move from the rim, the lower your shooting percentage drops.  But, at the 3-point line, you get 3 points instead of 2.  So the risk of moving that far out is worth it.  They like 3's, but if you're only going to give them 2 points, they're getting close to the rim come hell or high water.

Want work related examples?  I thought you'd never ask.  Here you go:

--Shots at the rim are the equivalent of routine work you know is essential and will return steady results if you focus on it.  You do this because it has a proven track record of driving revenue.

--3-pointers are the equivalent of new initiatives new project work that's strategic to your career and/or your company.  You won't be successful with this all the time, but when you are successful, it delivers a big pop.  Just like a 3.

--Everything in green within the chart to your left is the busy work, the stuff that distracts you from what's most important.  You should do less of this, because it's lower percentage, doesn't have upside and let's face it - if you're going to spend time on things that might not pay off, you may as well go for big wins - the equivalent of shooting from 3.

Harden and the Rockets have figured out the middle stuff hurts their pursuit of wins.  You should print this chart and put it near your desk to remind you to say no to crappy meetings, busy work you can say no to, etc.

Fear the Beard.

I'm breaking off some James Ingram (really Quincy Jones) to start off this post.  Deal with it:

"I did my best but I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes we're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay or head on out the door"

Did you hear?  In perhaps the most unsurprising news of the last centruy, Jameis Winston (former Heisman Trophy winner and Florida State QB) is turning pro.

The reality is that Jimbo Fisher, coach at Florida State, has known this for a long time.  Want to understand how I know that?  All you have to do is look at the interactions between Jimbo and Jameis in the Rose Bowl, where it all went to hell and Jameis tried to show up his coach.  Take a look at the video below (enable video and photos, click through to the blog post if you can't see it. You'll want to see this one):

That's right.  Read the lips.  After Jameis tries to show him up, Jimbo calls him in tight - but not too tight - and says the following: "If you don't calm the f*ck down, you're going to the bench."

Which is how Managers React When They Discover They Don't Need A******* Employees.

We've all been there.  An employee has special skills.  We don't crosstrain.  Those special employees are awful to other people.  Like Scott Strapp, we create our own prison.

Then one day, because the person tells us they're leaving or we've finally hired enough talent to backfill them, the haze is lifted.  They treat someone poorly (maybe you) and we tell them to shut the hell up. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Jimbo Fisher got caught making exceptions for a special talent.  Then in was in too deep to dig out.  At some point this fall or winter, Jimbo learned or knew Winston wasn't coming back.

And then he make all of us who had been cringing - Jimbo Fisher fans in the years to come.

I'm sorry the last couple of years have been the best of times/worst of times, Jimbo.  I'm glad you got to say what you wanted to say on national TV.

If only all the managers in corporate American who arrive at the same point had the ability to do the same.

h/t to @akabruno, who reminded me yesterday that 1/5/15 was the day I encouraged HR Leaders last year to start planning their Vasectomy/March Madness promos within the companies they serve.

The logic is simple.  Pregnancies cost money, especailly across people who are approaching middle age.  So why not start planning now to put the guys on the post-vasectomy couch during a time they're most likely to agree to be there?  

March Madness.  

This post is about how you combine March Madness, economic, medical coverage and bedroom issues that interest your employees into one big "marketing meets HR" extravaganza.

You need to launch a "Vasectomy/March Madness" special now, so people can get their vasectomies scheduled for Thursday, March 19th (that's the first day of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, aka, March Madness

I'd like to think I'm a leader in this area.  Once we had the second kid, it was time to decide if we were done or not.  We were done.  I went to a urologist to explore the male side of family planning.

My urologist was a immigrant from South America.  As part of his vasectomy package, he actually told us he had to talk with us as a couple.  Then he unleashes this (imagine Columbian accent):

South American Urologist - "Now Mr. Dunn, are you sure you want to do this?  I have to ask, because I see more and more men in their early 50's coming back with a young second or third wife who expects children.  At that point, they're looking to reverse the vasectomy.  I don't want you to be caught in those circumstances."

Me - "I'm sure, doc. Have you met Mrs. Dunn?  She's sitting right here."

What an ass. But the deal got done.  It also coincided with the purchase of our first big screen TV and conference tournament weekend in college basketball, when there's like 100 high-end games on in a single weekend.  I was a leader in this area.  It's now a trend - from CNN:

"A major clinic in Ohio reports it performs 40 or 50 more vasectomies a month before and during the 68-team basketball tourney. We do have (in March) typically about 50% more vasectomies than in other months," said Dr. Ed Sabanegh, chairman of the Department of Urology at the Cleveland Clinic.  A lot of patients come in and say, 'I have to have this during March Madness, you have to talk to my wife about it. Tell her what my limitations are and that I need to be on the couch."

Here's your opportunity HR - now's the time to focus on your long term employees that look to be about done having kids and remind them of the possibilities.  The women probably wish the husband would take care of it.  The husbands are worried their macho level - or maybe the third wife in 13 years.  You bring them together by reminding them of the possibilities of the vasectomy/March Madness combo.  Maybe you throw in additional PTO and a platter from Chick-fil-A.

The wife wins because it's handled.  The guy wins because he gets to watch hoops. You win because you're creative, and let's face it, your medical plan doesn't need more covered dependents or pregnancies.

That's win/win/win where I come from.

This post is about hating change.  This post is about growing up.  This post should be related to how you treat someone with ideas different from yours.  

Stu Scott, one of the most recognizable anchors at ESPN, is a victim of cancer.  Notes about hate after the jump, but first, this from ESPN:

"Stuart Scott, a longtime anchor at ESPN, died Sunday morning at the age of 49.

Among the features of the new ESPN studio in Bristol is a wall of catchphrases made famous by on-air talent over the years. An amazing nine of them belong to one man -- from his signature "Boo-Yah!" to "As cool as the other side of the pillow" to "He must be the bus driver cuz he was takin' him to school."

If you're even a casual observer of sports, you recognize those catchphrases and many more as belonging to Scott.  And that begs a interesting question:

How many of us couldn't stand Stuart Scott when he arrived on the scene and boomed his first"Boo-Yah?"  While many would say "not me", the reality is that his new style of sports reporting was devisive.  Many (if not most) of us couldn't stand it when we first heard it.  It grew on us over time, and eventually became part of our lives.

What does that say about us?  Some would say since Scott was black, there might have been some racism in that.  While that might have been true in some cases, even the good, non-racist people of the world couldn't stand it because he blew up the model of how sports highlights got presented.

He was riffing pop culture into his craft long before it became popular via the explosion of the web. 

I watched the tributes to Scott on Sunday and remembered how I felt when I first heard him.  Nails to a chalkboard.  I feel myself becoming much more tolerant of differences as I get older, and Stuart Scott has a part in that - bigger than I realized before the tributes started coming on Sunday after he passed away.

He had ideas that transcended our normal framing of diversity or race and a most importantly - a big microphone.  

The world's a better place for Stuart Scott refusing to do it any way but his own.  

RIP Stuart Scott.

It's 2015. Many of your hate your job.

Time to suck it up.  No one's going to care if you're engaged or not.  It's up to you.  No one cares more about you than... well, you.

I was up over at Fistful of Talent earlier this week talking about 5 things to ponder if you hate your job.  Here's a taste from the intro:

"Welcome to what I like to call CAMP SUCK-IT-UP.

The answer is always more about you than it is about other people or your company.  There’s a line from The Usual Suspects that goes like this from Verbal Kent:

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”

I’ll modify that line to get into the engagement-at-work industry a bit:

“The greatest trick the employee engagement industry ever played was convincing the world that ALL unengaged employees could be converted to engaged.”

Yep - It's on you, homeslice.  Click this link to see the full post and the 5 things you need to think about if you hate your job - or manage/support people who hate their job.