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Stuff the Capitalist (aka KD) Likes - Diet Mt Dew and the Venti Mild (with a Gatorade chaser)....

It's Fourth of July Weekend, so I'm rebroadcasting my take on two things that make America great.  Diet Mt Dew and Starbucks. Consumerism! PS - don't hate, I just finished a 700-page book on Lincoln.  He was great too...

Who am I?  Who cares?  Good questions.  It's my site so I'm going to tap into the slow summer months once in a awhile by telling you more about who I am - via a "Stuff I Like" series.  Nothing too serious, just exploring the micro-niche that resides at the base of all of our lives.  Potshots encouraged in the comments.

I like caffeine.  LOTS of caffeine.  

It starts with a pot of Folgers (breakfast blend, if you haven't tried it,you should) at home.  You know, just Coffee to get the edge off.  Then it's on to the office where Kinetix has it's own special machine.  You know what those are right?  It's where there are like 30 flavor choices and you make your own customized cup o' joe.  It's nice, but the only problem with that machine is the volume - the cups aren't very big.

Which makes my Kinetix teammates my single-serving friends of sorts.  From Tyler Durden:

"Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.'

So around noon, I don't do lunch.  I'm hitting Starbucks for a Venti Mild.  That's right, mild brew, large cup.  I feel so average compared to the pretty people who order extravagant drinks, but at the end of the day, it's not about me, right?  It's about the caffeine.  If the barista gives me a funny look, she's got something like this coming her way ala Denis Leary:

"Did I miss a meeting with the coffee? You can get every other flavor except COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE! They got mochaccino, they've got chococcino, frapaccino, capaccino, rapaccino, Al Pacino, WHAT THE ****!"

Actually, I'd probably just repeat the order.  Oddly enough, the baristas seem to like it when I come in with the simple order.  I think it's a freebie for them.  No fuss, no muss....

After getting the tower of strong brew it's back to the office, where the venti lasts me about an hour.  By that time, I'm well into the afternoon and at least 90 ounces of coffee, so dehydration can become an issue.  That's why I'm always apt to chase the venti mild with a G2 from Gatorade (preferred flavor - grape, second choice, orange).  Gotta stay hydrated. You think I'm joking, but I'm not.  Gatorade chaser people.

By that time, it's 2pm or so.  In the winter months, I might keep the coffee express going and sample some flavia, but in the summer months, it's clear the cold caffeine choice is as follows:


The nectar of choice from a soft drink perspective.  Goes down so smooth, I could easily run through another 50 ounces before it's time to crash at night.  Nice caffeine pop as well.

Caffeine - it does a body good.  If you have problems sleeping, I feel bad for you son.  I got 99 problems but caffeine ain't one..


Erin M

Okay, seriously. I got Fight Club, Ode to Caffeine, Dennis Leary, AND a JayZ reference. Life is good.

Ben Eubanks

We are SO Diet Dew brothers (like blood brothers, but with CAFFEINE!).


Wait. Why not go for a sugar free Red Bull and be done with it?


I'm going to sound like my mother but....Do you ever eat?

Dan Erwin

I like my coffee shop cronies as much as I like my caffeine. But as you get older, it can be limiting. If I intend to sleep at nite, no caffeine after 2PM. Prior to that, enjoy the hell out of it.

However, I've learned that when I have a major presentation, juicing up on caffeine can be helpfully stimulating.


I am big on Diet MD. I have one in the morning after coffee. Been doing this for something like 15 years.

Michael Haberman, SPHR

My favorite answer at Starbucks when they ask if I need room for cream is "Nope, no caffine in cream." But I have gotten to be like Dan Erwin. Late caffine does disturb my sleep. Pisses me off too...

jessica lee

so i'm a little behind in my reading... just wondering though what your thoughts are on timing of drinking coffee and running. is there a window of time during which you will not drink coffee before running? i like a late afternoon iced coffee (drinking one now) and i'll probably head out for a run in about an hour or so.


Kris Dunn

JLee -

I can pound down a cup and be on a run in as little as 20 minutes. Probably the postive impact of the buzz....



RZA, GZA, and Bill Murray also make this country great. I'm an arabica bean snob, but I'll take whatever is offered. My company doesn't offer the cheap legal stimulant gratis, which continues to baffle me.

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