The bar is so low people.  I know, I know.  You have legal requirements.  You're an EEO/AA employer. You've got standards.

All those are reasons you won't get outside the box. 

Fine.  Then keep your awful job description and spice it up on the front end to make people think you have a soul.  Here's a great example from MEC Labs in Jacksonville (which brought us legends like Limp Bizcut and Tim Tebow  Jacksonville, not MEC):

"Quick quiz: Why do you think most people buy a ticket to a Van Halen concert?

1. The pretty flashing lights
2. The delicious food at the concessions
3. The guy in the back who won’t stop yelling “Sammy Hagar was better!”
4. The content

You’re a pretty savvy job seeker, so we figure you know the answer to this one – it’s all about the content (although, you gotta admit, it was all downhill after David Lee Roth left)."

You're a big red tape machine. You can't write custom copy for job descriptions. You're worried about getting sued.

No excuse for you not to put some custom copy in the header and footer of your job descriptions (which goes global to all job descriptions), then change it out regularly.

The bar is low. All you have to do is try a little.  It's a zero expense item that can make you look like a great place to work, without spending the money I describe as necessary in this whitepaper.

h/t to Capitalist friend and reader JN.