Elevator pitches are important.  In my new role at Kinetix, I get at least 4-5 opportunities a day to tell people what Kinetix does, because let's face it - the name tells you nothing (it's a synthetic name for a firm, more on that at another time).

Embedded in my elevator pitch (which I'm sure is far from perfect) is customization for what I think I know about the audience.  I'm going to tweak it based on who I think you are, and if I know anything about your business, I'm going to try and make a connection that way as well.   While I might have portions of it that are standard, I'm going to rapidly move the conversation to what I think your individual connection is to my pitch.

I know - duh.  What's the point?

Bloggers like me get at least 5-6 pitches a day, usually informational downloads asking us to cover a new product, a book, or service that a PR firm thinks is a fit for our readers.  The best pitches to me try to start a conversation about my audience (aka, customers).  The middle ones are just spam that aren't customized in any way.  The really bad, challenged ones are written in a way where you have to say, "What were they thinking?"

Case in point - I got the following pitch last night.  It's from an individual asking me if I want a copy of a book on the topic of  - wait for it - elevator pitches.  Get it?  A pitch on a reference source that should help anyone (you, me, we) deliver a better pitch.  Ironic. I've changed the names to protect the client, but take a look at the pitch and let me know what you think.  My notes appear in italics.  Good luck and godspeed.

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Hi Blogger,  <I'm immune to people pitching me without reference to my name - doesn't even bother me anymore.  But using a category like this would be like me starting an email to potential customers "Hi Potential Source of Revenue"> I usually sit down and pour some serious time into my notes to you (especially when I have a new author I really care about). But right now I'm in Washington DC on a whirlwind book tour. <First email I've receieved from this person.  He usually works hard to give me what I need, but I guess this is the substandard version - he's busy.> Its one of those book tour launches that is non-stop: appearances, special speaking gigs and interviews at all hours. So anyway I'm holed up in a quiet corner of the Renaissance Hotel with a great story to share with you. <He's clearly living the vida loca. Appearances, media interviews on the reg.  Glad the folks at the Renaissance were able to move him to the quiet corner to get the email out.> I took on a new client. <I edited this part to take out the author's name and book title - it's probably a good book> She is the ULTIMATE elevator speech guru. Anyway – I picked up the manuscript and burned through it on the plane out here to the tour. This was the first book I've read in the past two years that I put into action immediately. I mean literally. <The most effective part of this email - personal experience> On the first day of the tour before the fireworks start I get a meeting with publisher of a major house. My purpose is straight forward. I think publishing is screwed. This whole system isn't working and something has to change. I was there to pitch something totally new. I'm watching what Seth Godin has done with the Domino Project and I think it is all wrong. I've got my big idea and I'm racking my brain for how to get this guy to buy into my point of view. <How about the part where I get pitched 5 books a week?  Is that part of publishing screwed?  Because this email would be, as the sugar hill gang used to say, "perpetrating the fraud"> Between the plane ride and my meeting – I took the book and rewrote my Mr. Big Pants Publisher pitch in a cab from JFK. I completely nailed the meeting. I walked out of what was a 20 minute meeting a hour and a half later with an agreement to launch a new deal for authors (more on that in the future). <He's cutting deals on the reg.  I'm lucky to get this email.  What's in it for my flock at the blog?  Whoops, I missed that connection.  I'm sure it's in there because there's a reference that he used it effectively and got paid - cash money> So my point in all this....? If you are looking to pitch someone – don't wait until you're on your way to the meeting like I did to read this book.  Oh – and if you want a free advance reader copy – shoot me a reply with where to send it and I will get you one of the 30 copies I have for my blogger friends. <This email is either brilliant or a car wreck.  I'm still thinking it through.> Again, thanks for letting me bring you these little gems. <You're welcome.  No, wait.... Thank You!> All the best, Ricky Davis Agent

I do like the gusto of this guy.  That said, maybe the pitch on the pitch should be a little more about who I serve than about him.  Like I said in the email, it's either gold or the equivalent of nuclear waste.  Not much room for in between...