VPs of HR and Jury Duty: The World Thinks I'm An Outlier...
Calculation of Bad Turnover - Don't Forget to Count Your Hiring Misses, You Sandbagger..

10 Ways The NBA Is Like Your HR Career....

Let's face it - there aren't that many readers of this blog who are fans of the NBA (pro hoops for the uninitiated) like I am, so writing anything with "NBA" in the title is risky from a standpoint of watching readers walk to the door and hit "unsubscribe".

Still, it's a personal as well as a professional blog.  With that in mind, screw it - I'm writing how I feel andChris-anderson-birdman with the NBA season starting up on Tuesday night, I bring you these 10 ways life in the NBA is like your HR career.  Enjoy, you closet NBA fans:

10.  The Birdman works for you and you get complaints daily.  Sure, he's got tats everywhere, and once had a 3K crack habit.  He can rebound so he stays.  Plus he's clean and works hard.  Random drug tests take care of the rest, right?

9.  You've got a salary cap as well,, and based on the economy, like a lot of NBA teams you aren't using everything in the budget either...

8.  You keep hearing that the best candidates are taking less money to go with a proven winner.  That's OK - you don't need an attitude like Rasheed Wallace on the 4th floor anyway...

7.  That last visa you sponsored didn't work out so well.  Kind of like my man Sasha coming off the bench for the Lakers...

6.  You don't work for a company, you work for a King who is the founder and so wealthy he does anything he wants regardless of your advice.  At least he's not in the lunchroom in a t-shirt yelling about no calls like Mark Cuban... Wait - it's worse than that?  Nevermind...

5. Your top salesperson just had photos of him, on a company junket,; show up on Facebook like the Miami Heat's Michael Beasley.  Wait - it's OK - he said he didn't drink from any of the bottles on the table and the lady sleeping on the sectional next to him is his life coach...

4. You were proud of your city and your plush headquarters, then the C-level recruit you had to have slapped you in the face because his wife said your city wasn't European enough.  Didn't you tell her about the reputation for great BBQ?  I mean c'mon...

3.  Moonlighting is now accepted in your company.  You saw the light when one of your customer service managers started making some wholesome CD's on the side. Seems like a nice kid...

2.  Everyone at your company is the same.  See?  The CEO even sits with the team - if you squint, you'll barely notice the fact that his chair is elevated 11 inches higher than everyone else's...

1. Your VP of Engineering just married Khloe Kardashian.  That's not going to cause a focus issue, right?

Tip it off, because this is the league for which I'll stay up to watch meaningless games until 1am.  It's all about the culture, right?

Spurs win the championship, over the Cavs in 6.  Bank it!!

Comments

Steve Boese

How about a former top biller (Marbury) starts behaving so erratically, you'd rather pay him a huge salary to stay home and (hopefully) keep him from poisoning the rest of the organization.

Steve Boese

Ok, one more - your Payroll department is challenged to correctly setup and monitor your VP of Operations (Sean Kemp) 11 child support garnishments in 9 different states.

Tim Sackett

I got one - your former Sales Star, that you promoted to VP because of his past accolades (Isaiah Thomas) just got demoted because he like to chase the front desk girls around the office. Because he has so much history in the industry, your forced to keep him on or risk customer fall-out.

twitter.com/bryonabramowitz

Your VP of Operations performs like a rock star so you overlook his gun possession charges (Scottie Pippen). While he's not really a team player, you decide to keep him on because he's still a top 50 player of all time.

Steve

There has always been two sets of rules, one for Joe Blow and one for Performers (defined as anyone who brings in the Money). Joe Blow toils away in your client support division or the locker room. Your Performer got or keeps your best (most profitable) clients or nails the TV ratings driving ticket or ad revenue. They may be PITA, but you're never gonna let some else have 'em.

Wally Bock

Kris, there are days when it seems that you have way too much fun.

www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=632019852

I thought it was meth.

Wait, is that all I have to contribute to this post? (Sadly, yes.)

G-Money

Oh yes... Here it is... The real number 1! The whole thing is fixed and the League decides who wins and who loses. Cause it's all about the dalla-dalla bill y'all! I like Citigroup over AIG in the finals. Sorry KD, I could not resist!

Tanaka

I have recently joined one of the big four accounting firms as Director-designate for HR. The person I am understudying is leaving at the end of this year and has been with the Firm for close to 15 years, three of which served in the current role. I could say that I was largely recruited by this individual but there appears to be some resistance by some Partners within this Firm to accept this imminent change of guard. I am aware that one of my role is that of being Change Agent but sometimes you realise that all the knowledge and skills that you have in this regard is being deliberately undervalued and debased by a clique of individuals who are more interested in safeguarding their entreched positions without due regard to the long-term interests of the business. How best can I deal with this situation?

Laura Paris

Ok, one - to its payroll department is a challenge to correctly follow the rules and Vice President of Operations (Sean Kemp) 11 seizures of child support from 9 different countries.

Melissa

I know this post is old, but I remembered reading it somehow and love it.... so I featured a link to it on my blog today (here - http://www.psychatwork.com/2010/06/game-7.html) , hope that's still cool...

Eric Guess

I cant imagine working HR for the NBA! All those over paid babies whining crying for the fines they're slapped with for driving drunk and smoking weed on the regular! Grow up you're being paid millions and in the national spotlight! Lesson to be learned?? NO complaints from us corporate types when we deal with debbie's blouse being too low cut!

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