Try and turn on the TV to a non-sports channel (a rarity for me..) and go 30 minutes without seeing a plug for the media circus that has become OctoMom.  You can't do it sucka, go ahead and try, I'll wait...

See? 

For the newbs who haven't heard of OctoMom, here's a rundown, and I'll be back to compare her to the guy with 8 jobs in 4 years after the jump:

"The photo of Nadya Suleman's distended pregnant belly has been splashed online and in tabloids all week. Who? Oh, you may know her as Octomom.

She's a single mother of six who decided to have eight more babies -- all via in vitro fertilization. Why? She said she wanted more babies because she loves babies. This sounds like the rationale a 5-year-old would use when asked why she wants yet another puppy.

Suleman is unemployed, living on food stamps and disability checks. She's declared bankruptcy, but managed to afford what appear to be several cosmetic procedures (that nose! Those lips!) -- something she denies. She lives with her mom, Angela, who can kiss all dreams of a peaceful retirement goodbye.

She had a PR team, which dropped her because it, along with Suleman, got death threats -- appalling. Suleman then sought advice from an agency specializing in "Christian talent" to help sell pictures of her babies. According to USA Today, Suleman's mother is "$23,225 behind in her mortgage payments." She might lose her home by May. And, Suleman is worried she might lose custody of her kids. Shocking!"

When I first heard of OctoMom, it took me about 30 seconds to make the comparison to the guy with 8 jobs in 4 years.  It's eerie, the similarities.  Here are five reasons why the serial job hopper is like the serial baby maker that is OctoMom (I'll call him OctoJob):

1. Like OctoMom, the OctoJob is also positive about the moves and decisions he's made.  She loves babies, he loves to take advantage of the next opportunity - it was just too good to pass up, and he'll tell you so.  Too bad she can't afford the babies and he's never given a job a full chance without bailing on himself, his family and his employer...

2. Like OctoMom, OctoJob looks pretty good for the wear and tear that's occurred.  That's why he keeps getting hired by people even though he's never lasted for more than 6 months at his previous employers.  He LOOKS like a million bucks.  You're going to be the one who changes him, right?

3.  Like OctoMom, OctoJob's personal finances are in shambles.  There's debt involved since he's never built a sustainable track record, which only contributes to the fact that he'll trade in the stability of your scene for that "big commission" opportunity within the first 5 months he's with you.  Sadly, he won't stick with the next job long enough to get the commissions.  Like OctoMom, he'll feel the void by adding another job (or eight) to the mix.  The next one's going to be the one for him, right?

4. Like OctoMom, OctoJob knows how to play the media.  The difference is that OctoJob doesn't talk to the media, he talks to people like you and I in interviews.  He sounds good in sound bites.  You're going to be the one who OctoJob finally commits to, right?  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

5.  You get sucked in by OctoJob just like OctoMom.  You hate him for the irresponsibility, but he looks the part and sounds the part.  Maybe it will work out..

Don't do it.  Don't hire OctoJob.  Everyone misses on a job once in awhile, so I'm not telling you that someone who has had 3 jobs in a year can't work for you.  Look behind and in front of that sequence for the true answer.  If you see OctoJob, you probably need to walk the other way.

Before you hear or see them.  Before you get sucked in.

Now, when's the VH1 special on OctoMom on again?