OK, this video is a total farce from the Onion... But, with recent brainstorms/innovations in the pizza industry, like the stuffed crust pizza and bacon as a topping, can it really be far from the truth?

So, do this - get the double crust WITH Bacon three times a week for the next year.  Cholesterol and risk for a cardiovascular event higher as a result?  Who cares?  You still pay the same employee contributions for health care as the skinny guy eating carrots and running in the heat at lunchtime.

That makes you the clear winner.  Right?