A week or so back, I riffed on the report that 42% of Tampa bus drivers were certified/approved for Intermittent FMLA Leave.  42%.  That's a big number - back when I had large scale call centers as part of my client group, a number like 3-4% would have brought a call center to its knees from a scheduling consistency standpoint. 

Who's to blame for the mess involved with the use of Intermittent FMLA Leave?  The government for tweaking the original FMLA regs?  Maybe.  Companies who aren't as aggressive as possible to push back on interpretation?  Sure.  Employees who don't have conditions needing flexibility, but certify under FMLA anyway, so they can't be held accountable for taking Friday and Monday off in the packaging of a 4-Day weekend?  You bet.

Me?  I'm blaming Dr. Seuss. 

I've got a 7 and a 4 year old, so I've got the books, and I've done some research.  It's all right there, if you look for it, in a book entitled "I Am NOT Going to Get Up Today".  From the children's book now serving as the guide on how to beat company attendance policies:

"I don't care if the kids are getting up right now all over town.  I'm the kid who ISN'T getting up.  I'm staying down.

All around the world, they're getting up.  And that's okay with me.  Let the kids get up in Switzerland... or Memphis, Tennessee (or Tampa - editor's note...)

In bed is where I'm going to stay.  And I don't care what the neighbors say!  I never liked them anyway." (editor's note - absenteeism hurts everyone, but isn't it typical that those who are taking unnecessary time off are the the last to care?)

WOW.  With propaganda like this, is it any wonder our workforce is in shambles?  That Gen Y would rather go hiking than work as a part of your important, yet somewhat tedious, audit team?

If you're reading this in 2028 and are managing one of my kids, you're welcome.  I threw out all of the propaganda by this anti-capitalism, anti-entrepreneurial, poisoner of minds.  He was even encouraging kids to read with their eyes shut.  That's been pretty productive around my house.

(PS - Happy 104th Birthday, Dr. Seuss)