How to Figure Out Which Managers Are Net Positive to Your Culture in 1 Question...

Capitalist Note - re-running this favorite since many of us are still in the planning stages for the new year regarding the best way to evaluate and improve lots of things - including culture.  Don't overthink the questions and tools at your disposal... see comments for more gold....

There's lots of talk about how to build the best culture possible at your company.  Regardless of how you define your culture, you can figure out what your team members really think, and what they want culturally by asking the following question:

"If you could pick any manager (other than the one you're working for) in the company to work for (regardless of functional area), who would it be and why?"

It's a no BS question on what people want out of your company. Culture isn't defined by workspace, by free lunches/soda or by the stuff you put in the onboarding packet.  Those things help to attract and are nice to have, but they quickly become entitlements.

You are not the car you drive.  You are not your khakis.

You lose control of your culture once your managers take delivery of talent in the new hire process.  At that point, an employee's experience with your culture is heavily influenced by their day to day interactions with their manager.

"If you could pick any manager (other than the one you're working for) in the company to work for (regardless of functional area), who would it be and why?"

Ask the question.  My bet is if you do it and review the results in a group of manageable size, you'll find some common names popping up all over the place.  Employees talk.  They know who's good with people, who's fair and who has a nice balance between business results and development of team members. 

Ask the question, and then look at the names that come up repeatedly.  Look at their style and philosophy, then figure out how to push, prod and train your other managers to embody some of the qualities you identify.

The question doesn't lie, and it releases the employees responding from saying, "I'd take my manager"...  Because we all know that's the politically correct answer.

Ask the question.

What's the Difference Between a Manifesto and a Mission Statement?

Easy:  A mission statement is usually boring and completed as a corporate project, complete with consultants and other things that ultimately water the whole thing down.

A manifesto is usually completed by an individual and looks to throw fastballs at the head of the establishment.  Manifestos can't make it through a group editing process because they're too renegade. 

Mission statements are the opiate of the masses.  Marx thought it was religion - it's not - mission statements are the crackpipe of the corporate masses.

Jerry McGuire called what he did a mission statement.  It was actually a manifesto.  He got fired as a result (I'm here to fire you Jerry.  Could you stop thinking about yourself all the time?).  The manifesto was too big for "the man".

Reference - this post on manifestos over at The Cynical Girl, with specific reference to the comment by "Jackie".

Can an Evangelical Christian Ask For a Religious Accommodation? (re: Sharing His Faith)

Imagine this.  You're an evangelical Christian, and that means you're called to spread the good word to anyone and everyone.  It just so happens that you're a manager of people, many of whom don't share your exact beliefs.  Probably not going to end well if you're convinced that you have to spread the word as a manager, right?  Just happened to a guy I'll call "Mr. Weathers" at Fedex.  Read it and brace for impact - More from HR Morning:

"Weathers described himself as a conservative evangelical Christian. He was a member of an internal organization of Christian FedEx employees, and he spoke at company sales conferences about his faith.  But his beliefs apparently caused some conflict in the workplace. One of his direct reports filed a complaint alleging that Weathers discriminated against her.

She alleged that Weathers quoted scripture to her on numerous occasions, and that he had recited a portion of the Bible that says a “slave should be obedient to his master” — meaning that the employee should be obedient to Weathers."

Slave reference rationalized through Christian beliefs. Ok!  I'm guessing this is where the boot is going to come down on Weathers, because let's face it, you can't have that.  FedEx did what you would probably do, which is to tell Weathers he managed people of various beliefs and probably needed to tone down the rhetoric and just manage:

"FedEx officials investigated, talking to a range of employees about Weather’s behavior. Some employees raised questions about Weathers’ leadership style, but the general consensus was that he treated co-workers fairly. 

FedEx concluded that Weathers hadn’t violated any company policies. But it issued him a letter of “counseling” — a form of discipline that’s less serious than a letter of “warning” — and told him discussions of religion with other employees “must cease.”  The reason: FedEx felt that allowing Weathers to continue to talk about his religious beliefs would create a hostile work environment for his co-workers."

But it's never that easy, right?  Weathers tested the waters and asked a loaded question related to what he could do based on his religious beliefs.  He was later fired and then sued, saying he was fired when he asked for a religious accommodation he never got an answer to:

"A short time later, Weathers sent an email to his supervisor and an HR rep, asking for clarification on the ban of religious discussion. As an evangelical Christian, Weathers said, he was obligated to answer any religious questions he was asked.  Weathers didn’t receive a response to this email, which he characterized as a request for religious accommodation.

A few months later, Weathers was demoted for performance reasons and later quit. He then sued FedEx for religious discrimination, failure to accommodate his religious beliefs, hostile work environment and emotional distress.

The court tossed all of Weathers’ claims except religious accommodation."

That's a doozy.  An evangelical Christian who is also a manager of people.  A cease and desist from the company related to discussion of religion.  A request for clarification on what he could discuss that later was positioned as a request for religious accommodation.

This is where your head explodes as a HR pro on a Wednesday afternoon.  You're welcome.  

GM and Google Apps: This Is What It Looks Like When Work Changes Forever...

You know the type of shift I'm talking about.  Everyone's talking about how some thing's going to change the way we do things at work, and sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not.  Examples:  Email and wireless - changed the way we do things forever.

Video - nice, but not currently changing the way we work. Cool watching Eastbound and Down videos at work.   Maybe it will change everything later, but not now...

So with those examples in mind, I've got one for you to decide on.  Topic - Apps in the cloud.  Real or phony?  We didn't really know, now we do. More from the Wall Street Journal:

"Google Inc. has signed a deal to provide email and online-collaboration software to more than 100,000 employees at General Motors Corp., according to people familiar with the matter.

The contract, however, requires Google to meet certain requirements before GM makes a final decision to deploy the software, these people added.

A GM spokeswoman declined to comment on the Google contract but said the company has "not made a decision to deploy Google Apps. We're always looking for leading-edge technologies, and our [information technology] department is open to various developers."

Assuming Google wins final approval, the deal could be a watershed."

Boom goes the dynamite.  100,000 licenses from a Fortune 100 means it's going to happen for everyone, and Microsoft isn't just going to stand around and watch the Office franchise get chisled away.  They're already on the cloud movement; you just haven't seen it yet.

Everything goes to the cloud when you can no longer tell the difference between the cloud and your Windows Explorer functionality.  You may have drank the Kool-Aid on the cloud a long time ago, but the GM deal and Google taking a deal from Microsoft means it just officially happened.

Please turn in your hard copy of MS Office.  You'll get a virtual copy or Google Apps. BTW, why don't you just start providing your own tech since all apps are on the cloud?  We'll give you $1,000 for all tech every year.  You figure it out.  

Just wait.

EDDIE MURPHY: On Taking the Job That Offers No Balance and Almost Kills You...

"I bet you could figure out the combined grosses of people who came off Saturday Night Live in the movies — me, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Mike Myers, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd. I bet it's like $15 billion. That show's like Harvard for the comic actor. When you come off that show and get into the movie business, it's like you're moving into slow motion for a couple of years. You've been working like a crazy person in this pressure cooker, then you're in the movies, just sitting in your trailer."

That's a quote pulled from a great rundown of the career of Eddie Murphy by Bill Simmons over at Grantland (Click here to read the whole article).  Loved the article, because who in Gen X doesn't remember Raw, 48 Hours, Coming to America, etc?

But the quote grabbed me.  With all the talk about work/life balance and how the new kids want that over anything else, one thing is for sure...

The kids who pay the dues are going to be the ones who are running the show in 15 years.  That's why if you have kids or a niece, nephew or other type of young professional in your life, you should wish them one thing from a carer perspective: A crystallizing career experience that almost kills them, but gives them 15 years of experience in 3-4 years in the career field of their choice.

A consutling shop where they travel 4 days a week to clients and have to "fake it until they make it".  A gig in a creative shop where they go 80 hours in one week on the project that's going to save the company, and they do that once a month for 3 years.

You know what I'm talking about.  Crazy work.  Unbelievable experience. The baseline that's going to allow them to lead others based on all the IP that ends up in their heads.

Then, when they turn 30, they can get married and have kids.  Buy a mini-van.  <fill in your cliche here>.

Children are our future (see clip below).  Eddie Murphy knows the truth. So should we.

Rage Against The Machine Thinks Your Company Looks A Lot Like "Maggie's Farm"...

Got a whitepaper coming out over at Kinetix that includes some video links, and here's one that was too good not to share today.

Rage Against The Machine covering the Bob Dylan classic, "Maggie's Farm".

Some of you know it from Dylan.  I know it from Rage.  Either way, the lyrics offer up a pretty good reminder of how average work can feel over time.  Sample lyics:

On jobs killing innovative thought:

"Well, I wake up in the morning
Fold my hands and pray for rain.
I got a head full of ideas
That are drivin' me insane
It's a shame 
the way she makes me 
scrub the floor..."

How about Pay for Performance?

"Well, he hands you a nickel
And he hands you a dime
And he asks you with a grin
If you're havin' a good time.."

On average performers pulling you back to the pack:

"Well I try my best
To be just like I am
But everybody wants you
To be just like them
They sing while they slave and just get bored..."

It's a shame the way you people make me scrub the floor daily here... Check out the video below (email subscribers click through for video).  Deep thoughts by Jack Handy with a great guitar riff...

TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE: Jon Hyman and the EMPLOYER Bill of Rights...

Jon Hyman at the Ohio Employer's Law Blog recently came across some opinion that suggested employees really don't have enough rights in America.

So he did what any other reasonable person would do.  He listed 15 huge classifications of laws that have been passed over the past 50 years protecting employees, then he went bat shit crazy on the author by riffing an EMPLOYER'S BILL OF RIGHTS.  It's too good not to share - go read it here now, and I'm sharing the first three of a list of ten "rights" that employers deserve to get you to read the whole thing.  Here are the first three employer rights:

1. The Right to Hire on Qualifications and Fire on Performance: We want to be able to hire a white male under the age of 40 without fear of a lawsuit from every protected class we did not hire. We want to be able to fire without the fear of an expensive lawsuit when you fail to perform.
2. The Right to Criticize: Every performance review is not an attempt to push you out the door. Believe it or not, every employee we hire represents an investment by us. We want that investment to bear a substantial return. Criticism is meant be a constructive attempt to help you improve, not a destructive set-up for you to fail.
3. The Right to Control Operations: We know how many people we need to employ, how many shifts we need to run, and how many facilities we need to operate. Most importantly, we know what can afford to remain profitable. If we have to shutter or relocate a plant, lay people off, or furlough hours, it’s not because we are discriminating against you; it’s because it’s necessary for us to remain open and able to employ anyone at all.

I'm nominating Jon Hyman as the Czar of Common Sense.  Go to his blog and subscribe now - one of the best in a crowded employment law blog space.

Kids Say Some Crazy Things (Wisdom On The Value of Shaking Things Up at Work)....

Just got a note from one of our peers in HR.  She's bored.  I get it, sometimes you get in a rut and have to shake it up.

I'm a big believer that everyone has a shelf life at any organization/career they choose.  Once you reach that shelf life, you have to reinvent yourself to get interested again, or you should probably jump to another opportunity.

It's like the honest quote provided by my oldest son when he was 4 years old.  We're sitting around the dinner table in classic American style.  We're having a pasta dish that's a recurring menu item in our household, and this is what he says out of the blue:

"It's the same old shit".

He said it so honestly and with no malicious intent, so all we could do is laugh.

Kids.  Where did he hear that?  Me?  You?  Cartoons?  The Dennis Leary disc that his dad has in the CD player?  Was he listening when I thought he was asleep?

Pure honesty.  What a kid.  He'll learn to mask that window to the soul, lest the world crushes him like a grape.

Actually, I hope he never loses that.  Reinvent yourself when you feel like that at work, or get the heck out.  

Don't be a victim to the SOS.

The Mets and MLB Say No to 9/11 Hats Due to Funky Non-Solicitation Policy...

Say it with me: Too many of the decisions we make are driven by fear of confronting things that suck.

Case in point:  The New York Mets and Major League Baseball forbid players to wear 9/11 hats on Sunday.  To be more clear:  The Mets and MLB said no to 9/11 hats in NYC, on the 10 year anniversary of 9/11.

Why would they do that you ask?  If you're in HR, you know there's a horribly flawed policy interpretation coming up.

ESPN's Jason Stark reported this morning that the real reason the Mets and MLB said no was to have the ability to enforce their strict uniform rules in the future.  Apparently, the Washington Nationals had asked to wear "Seal Team Six" hats a few weeks back, and were told "no" under the same policy.

Of course, saying no to 9/11 hats wasn't about having the ability to say no to "Seal Team Six".  It's about saying no to the owner who wants to wear "Masonic Lodge 234" hats because that's what he's into.  You get the vibe...

"We're saying no to this one so we can say no to the terrible ones that are coming.  It's a slippery slope"

Yes - just like the non-solicitation rule you have at your company.  You say no to distributing marketing material of great local organizations because you don't want to deal with Jenny from accounting being pissed off because she can't distribute 200 flyers in the call center.  And more importantly, also because you want the ability to say no to the Teamsters if they want to distribute their stuff.  Legally, you have to do that.

"We're saying no to this one so we can say no to the terrible ones that are coming."  9/11 hats in NYC on the 10-year anniversary of...wait for it...9/11.

Use this example to say no to an incredibly inept policy interpretation in your company today, and in doing that, say yes.  Give your team some credit for knowing the difference between good and bad.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: A Labor Day Note To My Boys...

My sons aren't really old enough to have this conversation yet, but they're getting close.

When we eventually have the conversation, we'll do it every Labor Day and call it the "Labor Day Gut Check"...

"Hi Kids!

A chipper intro, I know.. Labor Day is a time to relax (that's why I'm writing a blog post on Labor Day, right?), but it's also a time to reflect.

Your career = your ability to think differently from the pack.  There's a million careers you can choose, but once you choose and get into your profession, you're going to be a face in the crowd.  One of many.

Think like everyone else and wait around to be told what to do, and you're a commodity.  You'll have work as long as things are going well.  But, if things start going bad (for your company, for the economy), you'll be at the mercy of your employer.  How many commodities can your company afford to carry?  If things are going bad, less than they have today.  Layoffs and RIFs ensue.  

Creativity is the only safety net you have.  When times get tough, your ability to think about the profession/business you're in and add value that others can't (or are too lazy to provide) means job secruity.  You're more valuable when you use your creativity to look different than others.  It's also a hell of a lot more fun...

Seth Godin calls it being an artist.  Regardless of your profession, you should have a lot of artist in you.  Seth also says that being irreplaceable is about shipping.  You probably need to read his book to get the full flavor.  It's mandatory reading before you get out of high school.

Go compete.  Do it in a classy way that doesn't downgrade others, but don't allow yourself to get drawn back into the pack.  That's what unions would have you do.   Be creative and ship, and you'll never need a union (or a recruiter, btw) to find work."

I know.  Your dad is a giant pain in the ###.  Deal with it.