It's Fourth of July Weekend, so I'm rebroadcasting my take on two things that make America great. Diet Mt Dew and Starbucks. Consumerism! PS - don't hate, I just finished a 700-page book on Lincoln. He was great too...
Who am I? Who cares? Good questions. It's my site so I'm going to tap into the slow summer months once in a awhile by telling you more about who I am - via a "Stuff I Like" series. Nothing too serious, just exploring the micro-niche that resides at the base of all of our lives. Potshots encouraged in the comments.
I like caffeine. LOTS of caffeine.
It starts with a pot of Folgers (breakfast blend, if you haven't tried it,you should) at home. You know, just to get the edge off. Then it's on to the office where Kinetix has it's own special machine. You know what those are right? It's where there are like 30 flavor choices and you make your own customized cup o' joe. It's nice, but the only problem with that machine is the volume - the cups aren't very big.
Which makes my Kinetix teammates my single-serving friends of sorts. From Tyler Durden:
"Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.'
So around noon, I don't do lunch. I'm hitting Starbucks for a Venti Mild. That's right, mild brew, large cup. I feel so average compared to the pretty people who order extravagant drinks, but at the end of the day, it's not about me, right? It's about the caffeine. If the barista gives me a funny look, she's got something like this coming her way ala Denis Leary:
"Did I miss a meeting with the coffee? You can get every other flavor except COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE! They got mochaccino, they've got chococcino, frapaccino, capaccino, rapaccino, Al Pacino, WHAT THE ****!"
Actually, I'd probably just repeat the order. Oddly enough, the baristas seem to like it when I come in with the simple order. I think it's a freebie for them. No fuss, no muss....
After getting the tower of strong brew it's back to the office, where the venti lasts me about an hour. By that time, I'm well into the afternoon and at least 90 ounces of coffee, so dehydration can become an issue. That's why I'm always apt to chase the venti mild with a G2 from Gatorade (preferred flavor - grape, second choice, orange). Gotta stay hydrated. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. Gatorade chaser people.
By that time, it's 2pm or so. In the winter months, I might keep the coffee express going and sample some flavia, but in the summer months, it's clear the cold caffeine choice is as follows:
DIET MOUNTAIN DEW...
The nectar of choice from a soft drink perspective. Goes down so smooth, I could easily run through another 50 ounces before it's time to crash at night. Nice caffeine pop as well.
Caffeine - it does a body good. If you have problems sleeping, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but caffeine ain't one..