Dateline: Monday, December 22nd, 2008
Location - I-65, somewhere south of Nashville in the early stages of a 12 hour roadtrip from Birmingham back to the Missouri homeland...
Topic: Christmas gifts from the team, which answers the following question from longtime friends of the Capitalist - "I know you're in HR and all, but can you please admit it's OK to compliment someone on the fact they look nice today?" (hat tip to the fact that the Capitalist plays it pretty vanilla with his public persona)..
Scene - My wife opens up the new Nickelback CD, which was part of a gift from my team. For the record, I have a great team and the gift basket included Starbucks, Twizzlers, Diet Mt. Dew and Nickelback, all of which were money in my eyes.
Mrs. Capitalist: (who told them to buy me the new Nickelback, btw) wonders aloud if we can play the new Nickelback with the kids in the car, breaks the CD case open and starts laughing.
Me: What's funny?
Mrs. Capitalist: Here's the first set of lyrics from the first song (laughing and whispering so the rest of the car won't hear):
"...got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body
they say its over budget, but you'd pay her just to touch it, come on..
pretty little lady with the pretty pink thong
every sugar daddy hittin on her all night long"Me: I guess we're not listening to that in mixed company, eh?
Mrs. Capitalist: You got that right...
Me: Nice selection for the gift from the team, honey...
Full disclosure - my team is great, and we thought it was waaaaay funny - not personally offended in the slightest, especially since my wife told them to get it for me. But think about this. What if I had a habit of telling a direct report of the opposite sex she looked nice, then I gifted her the CD and she's driving down the road with her husband, and her husband starts reading the lyrics and it all starts feeling creepy?
Too sensitive on their part if they're offended you say? Perhaps. Juicy anecdotal fodder for any harassment suit? Without question. I've seen it play out for others, and so have you...
I'm just sayin... The audience ALWAYS decides what's appropriate in the workplace, and that's why we play it to the lowest common denominator related to the "I'm offended and feeling harassed" threshold. It's a personal thing. You don't get to decide. They do.
It's also why you don't play Nickelback CD's (Justin Timberlake, Alien Ant Farm, or whatever . . . you fill in the blank) unscreened in the lobby at work. Or work the word "thong" into daily conversations. "Bong", maybe. "Thong"? I don't think so...
What is Mrs. Capitalist going to recommend the team buy me next year? Luke Skywalker's greatest hits? The Bloodhound Gang? Like any kid, I'll be running down the stairs to find out....
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