Capitalist Note: Will all Manning fans please stop emailing me to correct the spelling of his first name? I spelled it PAYton due to the content being discussed. I thought about putting PAY in all caps, but then decided to go subtle. That was lost on those that love them some PAYTON...
That's right - I said it. Payton Manning will pimp promote your HR Department for $10,000. It probably will cost more than that, but the point is that Payton Manning is for sale. He's got you humming your grocery list to the Nationwide Insurance jingle. He's doing horrible commercials with a fame-hungry Papa John's founder. Let's face it, it moved from being a smart businessman to dramatically overexposed at least a year ago.
"Step aside, Cam. This Bud's for Peyton.
After winning the Super Bowl on Sunday night, perhaps his last game before retiring as one of football's most accomplished quarterbacks, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning said — not once, but twice — that he plans to drink a lot of Budweiser in celebration.
"I want to go kiss my wife and my kids. I want to go, you know, hug my family. And I'm going to drink a lot of Budweiser, Tracy, I promise you that," Manning said to CBS reporter Tracy Wolfson as confetti fluttered from the sky.
Manning later reiterated the same message from the podium after triumphing over Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers. The NFL's top pitchman shilling for Budweiser prompted speculation on social media as to whether Manning was paid. The answer: Not exactly, but Manning's shoutout was nonetheless a savvy business move.
"Hi Internet. For the record, Budweiser did not pay Peyton Manning to mention Budweiser tonight. We were surprised and delighted that he did," said Lisa Weser, spokeswoman for Anheuser-Busch InBev, on Twitter.
But Manning does own a financial stake in two Anheuser-Busch distributorships, a fact confirmed by Harry Schuhmacher, publisher of respected trade publication Beer Business Daily. And Manning's done this before: After the 2014 AFC Championship game, Manning pined aloud for a Bud Light at the postgame presser."
The name of my blog is the HR Capitalist. So I can't hate on this too much, except to say that it felt forced. The kind of forced that makes you kind of vomit in your mouth a little bit, especially the second time he said it, when he mentioned he wanted to be with his family, talk to God and drink beer - then remember he was supposed to say Budweiser, and came back around to get that in.
Yuck. Everybody get a shower - the scrub bush is on the counter.
But let's look at the upside! For the right amount of money, you can get your HR department in on the hundreds of interviews that Payton will give before he officially retires. I suspect you doing product placement for your HR Department could go something like this in the interviews to come:
Jim Nance: "Payton, what a finish. What are you thinking about retirement? Seems like a great time to make that call."
Payton Manning: "Well Jim, I'm just excited right now with the win. As for all that other stuff, I just want to spend some time with my family, talk to the man upstairs and drink a lot of Budweiser."
Jim Nance: "Well Payton, you've certainly de...."
Payton Manning: (cutting Nance off as he remembers the suitcase of money your HR department gave him) "Jim, I've got to add that it's been on my mind to talk to the <insert your company name here> HR team about my options. I hear they're great at career counseling and have counseled many employees on the right time to walk away before they they get their ### fired." Good people over at there on that HR team."
Jim Nance: "HR?"
Payton Manning: "Family, God, HR and Budweiser, Jim. Don't push me."
<awkward pause, even for Nance - who writes poems about Manning during the offseason>
Talk to finance today and get your offer in to Payton Manning. The clock's ticking, but you can still get this done.